an adultier adult

So today was the day. It happened.

After 42 years I finished a whole tube of chapstick.

Swear. It was first thing this morning. I popped the cap, pressed it to my lower lip and flinched when I felt the plastic edge. I tried rolling it up but nothing. It was empty. And I’ll be honest, I was a little offended. It was just going to be empty? But then the enormity of it all hit me…

And just like that; my wheels started turning. There is something more to me finishing my chapstick after 42 years, right?

There has to be….

Why? Well because in true Abby fashion, I’m convinced the chapstick is trying to tell me something. Maybe not the chapstick exactly; but what it resembles. Like it’s a sign.

But…of what? Have I reached the next phase in life? I can accept it if that’s the case because I’ve been expecting something. So what phase am I in now? Am I a real adult? Are there other adult-like things I need to be doing? If so, I need examples because I never really know what I should be doing or if I’m doing it right. In terms of being a whole adult, I mean. I’m pretty sure I’ve always only met the basic adult requirements. I feel like there is probably something more. More to do or more to learn, maybe? A level two? Idk.

I suppose the message could be obvious. Like, metaphorically speaking, maybe this is what life level two is about. Simply finishing a tube of chapstick and moving on to another. In other words, completing tasks. Or maybe it was less of a task and more like an accomplishment. I suppose I do feel a little more accomplished since finishing the tube of chapstick. And maybe that’s the point. Be happy about life’s little accomplishments. It was a quick moment of joy in my day. One of the little things in life. But it’s a little thing that I will brag about forever. And never forget.

And sometimes the little things turn out to be the best things, right? Big things and big moments are amazing but we usually only have a handful of those in life, if we are lucky. The older I get the more I’ve realized that I tend to find genuine happiness in little everyday things and otherwise insignificant moments. I mean watching my son graduate high school was a big exciting moment but it pales in comparison to all of the little car rides and short conversations to and from that high school. Those little moments are some of my most treasured. And I think when it’s time for each of us to look at our life through someone else’s lens; we’ll focus most on those little things. We will miss those little things. I do miss those little things. So maybe the subliminal message my empty chapstick is trying to send has something to do with not taking the little things for granted…

Or maybe the chapstick is reminding me to keep doing things I’ve never done. I do love trying new things, and, if I’m being honest; I haven’t tried enough new things lately. Maybe the chapstick is telling me it’s time. Giving me a little nudge to do what makes me happy…

It could also be a little nod to my level of patience. Or even a little pat on the back for being so responsible. I mean…I must have kept track of that chapstick forever to actually finish it. I could take it as a compliment, I suppose. Like, good job Abby. You were patient and responsible and I see you and appreciate you.

Thank you, chapstick. I hear you.

Then again, I tend to overthink things.

It was just an empty chapstick.

But it was really loyal so it wouldn’t go out without a lesson or a message for me. I just know it.

I still haven’t settled on my chapstick’s full message but for the sake of not wanting to lose more sleep I’m going to accept that it’s probably a combination of everything I’ve already thought it might be.

Or maybe it was just a reminder to stop at the store after work…

I may never know.

But what I do know is that life is amazing and short and full of the best little moments that I need to pay more attention to…and its time to do more of what makes me happy and try all the things….

Yessir, chapstick. Consider it done.

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