gracefully concerned

There is no denying that I’m getting older. It’s becoming obvious. And I’m ok with that.

I do, however, have questions.

I feel like I should first make it clear that I’m not complaining about getting older. I’m thankful that I’ve been afforded the privilege of growing older. The fact that not everyone is awarded this honor isn’t lost on me. I’m thankful but concerned. And I think that’s fair.

That being said…I’m starting to think that I’ve over invested in the idea of growing old gracefully. It sound so effortless. The best way to grow older, right?

But then I turned 43 this year.

Which leads to my first question…

How am I supposed to grow old gracefully when my body just randomly forgets how to do what its done for years? Like sneezing, for example. Why do the moments leading up to a sneeze cause such panic now? I mean; I don’t know whether to cross my legs, brace myslef, or immediately find a seat. I wouldn’t wish those moments of shear panic on anyone. Hand to God…I scramble, my mind races and I prepare myself for the worst.

Is that normal?

Am I the only person in the world that lives in fear of sneezing because throwing my back out and pissing myself (or both) is a likely possibility? They’ve both happened. Simultaneously and separately. More than once.

It’s not a flex. I’m just being honest.

Which leads to my next question….

Is there like a peer support group? Maybe a handbook? A live chat somewhere, at least?

Like…What to Expect: 480 months-600 months.

I’ve recently considered creating such a thing but I still have more questions than answers so I’m not sure I could offer much advice. I just think that it would be helpful to have something to reference when I feel like my body is freaking out for no reason.

Like I could just log on and say “Whoa..I woke up today and my left knee feels like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard…any idea what it could be??”

And then someone could respond and be like “Bruh. It’s Tuesday, right? Totally normal. Odds are that you’re just now feeling the number of times you bent down while working in the yard this past weekend. Sounds like you over did her. Moderation, friend. In your 40’s, your body takes its time to process the workout so you don’t get sore right away. It allows you enough time to forget what you’ve done so you’re really confused by the pain. It’s ok, though. Just don’t bend it for a couple of days. At all. Stiff leg each step. Kneeling or squatting are both out altogether. If it still hurts on Thursday it could be something more serious but also probably not. You might have just walked too hard. Take it easy.”

And I could respond by saying “Dang. I guess maybe I have used my knees a lot lately. I guess I thought bending was their main job but I can see why they would be tired. My bad. And now that I think about it…sometimes I do walk too hard. I’ll step more carefully. Good call.”

Can you imagine the community of aging friends with questions that we could bring together? The questions that we could answer? The minds that we could ease?

Seems like it should already be a thing, right? The website, I mean. I might attempt to search it up later. I should probably just rest. But.

I obviously have more questions…

Like…why does my stomach hurt every morning when I take deep breaths? Why does it take so long for my body to start moving after I tell it to run? I finally caved and bought reading glasses but I need to wear them for more than just reading…will that make my eyes worse? At what point do I need to cut my hair off and switch to weekly hair appointments? Is that really necessary? Is that when it starts to get the bluish tint? I’m ok with practical shoes but if they aren’t a tripping hazard, can I wear the same cute shoes I wear now? Are those brown age spots inevitable?

Also, what is the exact age that I can start saying whatever is on my mind regardless of the company around me?

Oh, and wrinkles terrify me. Anyone available for bi-monthly botox and brunch dates?

For real, though. Hit me up…

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